- You ready for Christian Bale all over your eye balls?
- Forever. Always.
'The female photographer'
In the well-menaing battle for gender equality it’s tempting to trumpet the exploits of female creatives in order to garner more widespread appreciation for their work. I’ve been noticing this more and more amongst journalists in the creative arena. In almost all of the interviews I’ve had in various editorials the same question of what it’s like to be a ‘female photographer’ comes up.
It’s this implicit assertion that the experience of photography, or other creative forms, are somehow segregated according to your gender disposition. In other words the interviewer is still enforcing gender divisions by assuming in the framing of their questions.
If you promote one gender over another you grant that gender special rights over others which has two negative effects against equality. Firstly you favour one group over another and secondly you suggest that the capabilities of your favoured group (in this case women) are somehow inferior and require special promotion in order to attain equality. Both of these I reject in favour of a culture that doesn’t judge my abilities or intelligence based on my gender. I’m a photographer, that fact I happen to be female should be irrelevant when judging the standard of my work.
It looks like the moon is your head lucyquin!!
Our rooftop wedding was a huge success! Our patient bride and groom and the so very helpful staff at Atlantis Pavillion really helped make this day awesome.
This is probably, hands down, my favourite wedding that Julie and I have photographed so far. What an awesome, awesome day. I love Toronto.
Happy 8 years to us!
Meanwhile, earlier this morning:
Me: Happy anniversary!
Steve: Thanks. 8 lonnnggg years.
Me: *offended face*
Steve: We beat the 7 year itch!
Me: I’m going back to sleep.
I’m not sure where the idea that marriage doesn’t take work came from. That if some action takes considerable effort for one partner of the marriage but not the other, it means that the marriage can’t possibly be meant to be?
Grew up with family that only hugs on special occasions? It’ll probably be work to make sure you’re physically affectionate enough to fulfill the needs of your partner. Grew up in a family that doesn’t always communicate well? Most definitely, you’ll have problems when trying to have any sort of argument, especially one where you’re more than likely in the wrong.
Work isn’t a bad thing. Everyone has to work to sustain their life (okay, I mean, I don’t work for The Man, but you know what I mean). Work gives you money to buy food (and who doesn’t love food?), to go on vacations and make memories with your spouse and friends, to live in a comfortable home with internet so you can read my blog - clearly work is a necessity of life. So why wouldn’t work be required in a commitment through good times and bad?*
Y’all (that’s right, y’all) must be wondering now, why I bring this up. Recently we were present in the death of a marriage. One party decided that they were done. It was just too hard being a good partner. It was just too hard having to work. The bad times came and they jumped off the stately marriage ship, head first, no trying, no life jacket. Kersplash.
This experience was definitely one of our worst. It was horrible. There where tears on our part, tears by their little girl, tears by the spouse left standing on the dock of her marriage-ship with a bucket. We never thought we’d be present for that moment, the kill moment, when you know nothing will ever be the same again for this marriage; when all you will see is the chalk outline.
I get that at some point, after lots of hard work, and probably even professional help, that a marriage may have to come to an end. But if being in a marriage is work, then getting to leave it also has to be work, not just a see-ya-later-have-a-nice-life-I’m-out.
Maybe I should blog more about the things we struggle with in our marriage? Maybe not. Because despite all the work that this happy married couple puts into their marriage, what I remember is all the fun we’ve had. This blog really is an honest depiction of our life, and I love it. Even the “work” that may not always get blogged, that “work” just makes us better. Cuz who wants to be worse?
*I work on my communication skills, especially during arguments, and I have to say IT. IS. WORK. But now we can have a 5 minute argument instead of a 2 hour painful, teary mess. I’d have to say that my hard work is worth it and paying off.